Hi there ladies and gentlemen! This is the opportunity of a lifetime we're offering today! We've sold millions of these kits already, isn't it time you got in on it too?! Yes that's right, I'll show you how to build a little version of Hell, everywhere you go!
At work, at home, with your family, I'll show my easy steps to totally mess up your life!. First we start out by completely ignoring God......!

Then I will lead you to ruin your relationship with your family.......

Next I'll help you get into deep financial trouble, and along the way make your job into a living hell!. I'll teach you how to hate God, hate your family and friends and hate your job and all your meager possessions.

The next step is to get you addicted to alcohol or drugs or sex (or if you're really ambitious all of the above!) And, if you follow through completely with my plan, you'll end up with AIDS or a fatal overdose of drugs and you will receive the Grand Prize!